Life in a Bike Shop

There’s No Crying In The Service Department

We in service are generally immune to your shared stories of inspiration. We are a cold-hearted lot.

“What’s your bikes malfunction private?!!!”

Then convention got tossed on it’s head. A customer who frequents the shop came in and told me just how much the other women on our ladies rides inspire her. They are supportive of one another and have developed a sisterhood from it. I think a tear began to form. I was genuinely moved and then I started thinking about the October beers again.

For The Love Of All Things Decent

Customer: “So this is how you want to run your business?”

Service Drone: “By providing you with information in order for you to make an informed decision? Yeah I think so…”

The customer is always right? Not in service. Your achievements in that strange world outside of our basement don’t qualify you to do my job, even though my uncanny skill to discern IPA’s from stouts does qualify me to do yours. Weird equation but more true than not.

It’s a cold world. Most of the time the customers and the techs working amicably together in order to satisfy one another’s needs. It gets steamy in service, but what happens in service stays in service except when someone feels it their duty to defile you on that internet thing. People “wrench and tell” all the time now. Societies on the skids.

In service you had better have a tough skin, because certain customers see you as the guy/gal that wants to pick their bones clean.

Customer: “I have a flat. Can you fix it?”

Service Drone: “Is it ok if we replace the 3 spokes that are missing as well? You’d be amazed at the performance gains from a wheel not just holding on for dear life.”

Customer: “I just need the flat fixed!” Your not gonna get the drop on me! I’m on to your game; see!!!”

Doing reputable work and helping to ensure your safety is pretty important to us. Legal ramifications aside, nobody in service wants anybody to do anything less than have a fantastic experience, get to work safely or engage in whatever the pursuit they see fit. Ripping people off isn’t part of the business model. We’re not getting rich doing this shit. Stand down irate customer, stand down…

Do You Fix Bikes?

Nope but our service team can make you a mean tiramisu. When your call was directed to us, the option on the outgoing message said, “service”.

I used to work at Tower Records during the time when grunge was king and the internet was just used to play the military grade version of Candy Crush. I used to get questions all the time about that song that has a “crushing guitar part and indecipherable lyrics”. I wanted to tell them that they just described half the songs on Sub-Pop and Dischord and to leave me alone because I was severely hungover, my flannel was itchy and making me highly irritated. Good times, good times…

What else would a service department do in a bike shop other than service bikes? The spectrum runs from people asking if we tap bb shell threads to asking if we have the technology to repair a flat on a 20″ bike. Now I’m severely sober, not itchy and perplexed. Can’t devote too much time to simple questions, gotta get ready for The X-Files reboot and cleaning the heads on my cassette player is a full-time gig.