Life In A Bike Store

We love beer. Bikes are still king, but beer is definitely in the royal court. Pizza is pretty good as well. Helps line the stomach for beer.

We at The Bikery really enjoy our customers. Most of the time anyway. Some people bring their shit into the shop, some people bring their shit anywhere they go. There are also those that bring their joy into the shop. We serve everyone but naturally gravitate towards those that make us not want to kill them. I think I can speak for everyone that works in a bike shop or probably any walk of life in this regard.

The Artist Formerly Know As: Flat Pedal Liz

Today we had a new favorite come to us bearing gifts. The best time for the best service is during the off-peak months. We actually have the time to sit back and explain our varied theories on stuff that’s only mildly entertaining to you, but vastly interesting to us. A woman who is brand new to the world of cycling just got involved with wearing ridiculous clothing and chugging electrolytes like a champ. Plenty of questions and unlike your, “seasoned” and sometimes quite frankly, “overdone” cyclists are much more open to the most efficient way of propulsion verses the way they’ve been doing it since Nixon.

Our treat from our most recent convert was pizza. We would have given her the same service if she brought in Wonder Bread and Jiff, but the pizza was much more appreciated. The more people on bikes, the better. That’s a very Portland way to think and it almost makes me gag to say it, but it’s true (swallowing bile).

Back it Up

Every so often a rider comes in and starts talking up his stable. It’s a little embarrassing honestly. Don’t brag on your dick, don’t brag on your bike. It really doesn’t take much to get through life if only just a few rules are observed. If I’m asked, I’ll tell people what I ride, but don’t volunteer the information. This gentleman starts giving me his resume. I feign enjoyment in hearing this. It’s the nasty truth behind the smiles and jokes. Not everything that everyone says is interesting, but that’s retail. Smile pretty, while giving them the nitty-gritty. After this gentleman’s stable has been put on the table, I ask him if he’d like to join me on a local trail. I figured that I was going to ride it anyway, so why not have a little company. That’s when the stuttering starts and the excuses start “Exxon Valdezing”. He gives me a time line as to when he can ride again. I didn’t ask him to join me in Moab for a week, but whatever man…

Cycling Royalty (of sorts)

We were visited by the one and only Marty from Marty’s Bikes. Mr Epstein (Not the sweathog sadly) is a major player in the north Jersey retail cycling world. I guess he was in the neighborhood and decided to see one of the other bosses in the local bicycling syndicate. These meetings can feel tense and a little awkward. It’s not like he had his capos flanking the exits all clad in his team’s kits, but still just a wee strange. He’s totally personable and apparently very Gotti like in the fact that one of our customers asked to have his picture taken with him. That shit was actually pretty lame honestly, but it made Marty’s potential new customer happy. So goes in cycling retail.

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